In what it’s describing as a magnanimous gesture toward an economy in decline, the Chinese government announced Monday it would forgive a portion of the staggering U.S. debt if Americans agreed to dress up in costumes and perform silly dances for their amusement.
With his nation holding $1.16 trillion in federal bonds and the U.S. showing no signs of ending its dependence on foreign credit, President Hu Jintao told reporters that allowing Americans to ease their fiscal burden in proportion to the number and quality of colorful dance numbers they perform is a mutually beneficial arrangement for both countries.
“Our great nation has generously agreed to decrease the considerable financial obligations of the United States,” said Hu, standing before an enormous rack containing elaborate dance attire such as sequined vests and metallic lamé pants. “All we ask in return is that Americans put on outfits such as these and amuse us with buffoonish little kicks and twirls, preferably while slapping their big fat tummies. The U.S. will receive much needed debt relief, and China will enjoy watching the graceless flailing of decadent capitalists.”
This actually sounds like a pretty viable long-term solution.
